No sex please, we’re writers!

It seems we are an unimaginative bunch when it comes to writing the sex scene. The standard is apparently so bad that it is necessart to give out awards for the worst examples. Yes, its the time for the Bad Sex Awards!

Going by examples in the genres I’ve read, there have been many very good and very bad sex scenes. When they are bad, they are really bad and more likely to get the reader to burst out into fits of laughter than the desired effect of titillation.

The article mentions Stephen King. I can’t really say I’m shocked, I’ve yet to see an example of good sex scenes in his work. Neither am I surprised to see Jean M. Auel on there. Having read three of her Earth’s Children books, I have commented that there is a lot of it. Overall, most of it is very good but there are some examples, particularly in The Plains of Passage, that are just awful. It seems that the final book in the series The Land of Painted Caves is ripe with bad sex.

Details of last year’s winner (loser?) is here.

Bad sex scenes usually contain the following:
* cheesy metaphor
* bizarre similes
* unrealistic dialogue
* little actual description of the human body
* athletic abilities that most Olympic gymnasts would struggle to achieve

I’ve yet to write any sex scenes, I have so far not felt the need and haven’t had the opportunity to test my erotica skills. I do plan to put at least one in the sequel to my complete novel but that is some time away yet as next year I want to do a serious rewrite of the original.

I’ve made a mental note that when I do write a sex scene, not to compare the physical act to mechanical processes (unless of course I’m writing steampunk, lol) or to erupting volcanoes, caves or to overuse the very unerotic word “member”.

I will revisit the subject in the near future when I’ve had the chance to experiment writing sex scenes.

3 thoughts on “No sex please, we’re writers!

  1. tmso

    I’ve almost written a sex scene (meaning, they almost did it, well, he was in her, but didn’t ejaculate does that count?), but I haven’t showed it to anyone – yet. I’m so embarrassed by it. It seemed appropriate for the story, though. I guess my beta readers will have a good laugh or be disgusted. :)

    1. mgm75

      Yes I think it counts. That’s more than I’ve ever written. I’m quite daunted about writing any love / sex scenes because I think they are too easy to get wrong (at least from what I have read).

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